I tell people do something, and they do nothing, and I end up doing everything.

 I want to capture attention and make my points, but no one listens.

 I was not exactly the most likeable chap around the workplace.

I listened to what you have said. You are frustrated and upset with these situations. Has it occurred to you that these situations could be the way your body talks which convey the wrong impression, impacting your relationship with others – be it at the workplace or social settings.

What would you do with body language so that it is being read as more favourable and hence make interaction at the workplace or social settings more enjoyable and productive?

Body Language – the Window to a Person’s Mind

We know body language tells your feelings, attitudes and emotions. It makes people forms either positive or negative perceptions of you. In those few minutes of interaction or longer time with others, how you look and how you sound, and what you say have greater impact on the outcomes of the interactions.

If you wish to improve the positive outcomes through body language, begin with paying attention to the signals you are sending out to others and learn to read others’ signals to react appropriately.

5 Tips when reading signals of body language 

1. Context. Look at the context in which body language occur. For example, during a meeting, when a person has his or her head down and works on a laptop, does it mean he or she is bored with your topics or being disrespectful? Is it that he or she has important matters to attend to which have distracted his behaviours.
2. Congruence. Be aware of the body language of someone who is trying to communicate a point in positive words, and engage in a negative body language.
3. Cluster. Observe a person’s cluster of gestures to determine his or her attitude such as defensive, frustration, anxiety when conveying message to you.
4. Interpret as accurate as possible the body language of others from the view of context, congruence and cluster of gestures. Decide on positive reciprocal gestures that could help to improve the interaction with others.
5. Emotion. Be aware of your own emotion when assessing the body language of others.

5 Tips when sending signals of body language

Self awareness and self-regulation of your body postures, gestures and movement.  Be cautious of your gestures that may provoke negative reciprocal gestures from the others, such as gestures that reinforce your message such as a thumbs-up, which have to be relevant in the culture of the context to avoid being misunderstood.

1. Ensure your body language is congruent with your message.When communicating, make sure the behaviours you display do not contrast with the spoken words which will cause confusion to the listeners.
2. Use open rather than close body language such as smiling eyes, palms up and open, open arms and legs that makes others feel more welcomed, comfortable and relaxed.
3. Silent Language.Be careful with silent language that transmits positive or negative messages. This includes dress, space, time, and touch. For example, increasing your physical territory by invading into the personal space could be read as dominating.
4. Empathy. Learn to empathize with a person’s true feelings by their gestures, facial expressions, and vocal cues and respond appropriately for a positive outcome.

“The average person looks without seeing, listens without hearing…touches without feeling…moves without physical awareness…and talks without thinking…”, Leonardo da Vinci.

With the power of body language, you can improve your professional image you present to others. More importantly, it helps you to establish rapport, trust and increase you likability to influence others – be it workplace or social settings – for better outcomes in most situations.

So start with self-awareness and regulation of your body talk, sharpen your observation skills to read body cues of others and respond with a positive reciprocal gesture that improves your interaction with others.